Beating too fast, Oh, Lord, I am giving it to You. Yes, my heart, to You, For I trust in You. Blessed is He Who will care for my heart. Don’t let it stop, For I trust in You. by: April Mendiola (This is just a little poem I thought of to encourage me. I have been reaching out to poetry a lot through all that has been going on. Whether I survive or I don’t, I know that...
Is he saving me?
Hmm, I think so. Why does he care so much? I don’t want to push him away again. I need saving, and he wants to be there. Should I let him? I think I should. I want to. He genuinely cares. It feels nice. I care, too. Well, we’re going to church together tonight, so that’ll be nice and enlightening. He told me he has never stopped caring about me. Wow. Do I deserve this? I never...
Oh my goodness, that was probably the most amazing time I have had in my life!! It was truly magical. I was out there on stage singing my heart out and it felt so good. I want to do it again. I think I can pursue singing if I really wanted to, and I do really want to! It was such a wonderful feeling. I was a little nervous as I sang the first piece, but once I got to the B Section of that piece I...
A moment of enlightenment :)
So, I think I’ve got it all figured out. My mental illness killed my relationship. I was just diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2012, and since then I have been trying to learn how to live with it. My illness has been controlling me, and since I have tried so hard to control IT, I actually became controlling. The thing about Bipolar Disorder is that you’re almost never stable. Well,...
Practice, practice, practice
I’m not practicing until I get it right, I’m practicing until I don’t get it wrong. I want it to be as perfect as I can make it. I want to blow the audience away.
Hope, dream, believe, sing
I don’t know if it’s because I have a recital coming up, or because I’m really meant to do this, but all I can think about lately is singing. I swear, I feel like my depression and anxiety are going away. I feel like the power of my voice will outweigh any negative voices inside my head. It feels amazing. If I could, I would do this for the rest of my life. I can! I love to sing....
"Learn Me Right" - Birdy (Feat. Mumford and Sons)
Though I may speak some tongue of old Or even spit out some holy word I have no strength with which to speak When you sit me down and see I’m weak We will run and scream You will dance with me We’ll fulfill our dreams And we’ll be free We will run and scream You will dance with me We’ll fulfill our dreams And we’ll be free We will be who we are And they’ll heal...